Stripping Away

Mother.  Grandmother.  Sister.  Daughter.  Friend.  Presenter.  Director.  Facilitator.  Leader.  Dancer.  Yogi.  Sound Practitioner.  Speaker.  So many roles.  So many identities.   

          I admit that the stripping away of identities can be an arduous and painful process, but a process nonetheless that transcends and transforms. 

When my nest became empty, and the walls were no longer echoing with laughter, screams and groans of my children, I initially felt extreme joy.  I actually had a “release party” with wine and chocolate.  No. Longer. Responsible.  And then the silence happened.  It was a moment that I remember clearly.  I had sat in the hallway, and stared into the now empty bedrooms.  I felt an incredible confusion.  WHO shall I be?  I had identified as “mother” for 28 years.  And yet, I still identified as “mother” without any direct “mothering” to do.  I had raised these now adults by myself, and they had become my life work.  And now WHAT should I do?  HOW could I even find myself?  Can you feel the crisis coming on?   Yep.  It hit.  It hit hard.  

          But one day, I picked up a paintbrush…and now there is a wall removed between the two bedrooms that 4 children shared.  And now there is an art studio that wasn’t there before. 

          Embracing change, filling the roles but not identifying with them is a lot easier. 

          Ahhh, but you may scream, “But I want to be a mother!  A sister!  Etc!”  And I say, “YES WE CAN!”  Just know those things are our roles in our play of life, but they are NOT who you truly are.  We can twist free of identification with changing our thoughts.  And changing our thoughts always begins by changing our language.  For example instead of saying, “I AM ________, change it to “I do _______.”  “I am a dancer” becomes, “I dance.”  The stripping away of identity brings us space to allow our True Selves to be realized, because we start becoming the observer of our roles, which helps us notice how life is a big stage and we are merely players, performers and portrayers (Thanks to this thought process planted in my brain by Limelight lyrics, Rush - Neil Elwood Peart / Gary Lee Weinrib / Alex Zivojinovich).

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